1 00:02:00,635 --> 00:02:02,426 No! No! 2 00:02:04,093 --> 00:02:06,635 Domo! 3 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,885 You ranted, sir? 4 00:02:10,343 --> 00:02:14,010 I'm ruined! Ratings are off. 5 00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:16,260 Video's in the toilet. 6 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,718 My sponsors want to deep-fry me! 7 00:02:21,135 --> 00:02:24,885 And your action figures aren't selling! 8 00:02:24,885 --> 00:02:27,468 You designed the show. So change it. 9 00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:32,885 Change it? You cold sore! 10 00:02:35,885 --> 00:02:37,593 Just try replacing me! 11 00:02:37,593 --> 00:02:40,468 You've abused every decent actor in the galaxy. 12 00:02:40,468 --> 00:02:43,426 You're a soulless, sadistic bag of pus, 13 00:02:43,843 --> 00:02:45,885 and you smell! 14 00:02:47,593 --> 00:02:49,260 Flattery, young man, 15 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:52,010 will get you absolutely nowhere! 16 00:02:53,635 --> 00:02:55,260 You little vermin! 17 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:58,010 (BARKING) You're all dog meat! Look at this. 18 00:02:59,718 --> 00:03:02,385 See this nose hair? It can act better than you! 19 00:03:02,385 --> 00:03:06,010 Actually, if I hold it up to the light, it looks like you, in a tuxedo! 20 00:03:10,885 --> 00:03:13,468 He had a point, O Bulbous One. 21 00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:17,301 What do you mean? 22 00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:26,426 Tell me we have a replacement. 23 00:03:28,426 --> 00:03:30,260 Tell me, please! 24 00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:34,593 Nothing proven, Most Congealed Master. 25 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,885 The X-Men. A bit primitive, 26 00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:45,010 and from a backwater dimension we don't usually bother with. 27 00:03:45,718 --> 00:03:47,593 Do I look like a man that cares? 28 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:50,843 I don't care! Get them! 29 00:03:50,843 --> 00:03:54,010 Mojo can make a star out of anyone! 30 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,176 Instantaneous test numbers are good in all dimensions, 31 00:03:58,176 --> 00:04:01,010 O Potentate of Programming. 32 00:04:02,093 --> 00:04:04,593 The passion! The drama! 33 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:08,010 (LAUGHING) And we can get them cheap! 34 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:09,468 I'm making money just standing 35 00:04:09,468 --> 00:04:12,093 here thinking about it! Am I standing? 36 00:04:12,093 --> 00:04:14,426 You may have done it again. 37 00:04:15,093 --> 00:04:18,093 Of course I have! I am a genius! 38 00:04:18,093 --> 00:04:21,093 Get Mojo the X-Men! 39 00:04:26,468 --> 00:04:29,843 This is the finest television available today. 40 00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:32,968 Digital everything. 1,300 scan lines. 41 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:35,010 Does it have a built-in surge protector? 42 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:39,385 Our last television met with an unfortunate accident. 43 00:04:39,385 --> 00:04:43,010 - Accident? I don't understand. - You'd have to know Jubilee. 44 00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:46,635 She won't have any trouble with our new remote control. 45 00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:48,968 Uh-uh. 46 00:04:48,968 --> 00:04:51,885 - Don't touch that dial! - That's odd. 47 00:04:51,885 --> 00:04:54,218 (LAUGHS) Hey, I warned you! 48 00:04:57,468 --> 00:05:00,593 Nobody tunes out Mojovision! 49 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:02,468 Who are you? What do you want? 50 00:05:04,301 --> 00:05:07,593 Let's not get off on the wrong foot, bubby. 51 00:05:10,301 --> 00:05:12,093 Can we talk? 52 00:05:12,885 --> 00:05:15,260 I've had my eye on your career. Forceful, heroic. 53 00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:18,093 (BELCHES) Loved what you did with the Sentinels! Star potential! 54 00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:21,301 Sorry, it must have been the producer I had for lunch. 55 00:05:21,301 --> 00:05:22,885 I mean, the thing with the eye blasts. 56 00:05:22,885 --> 00:05:24,593 Talk about your x-ray specs, 57 00:05:24,593 --> 00:05:27,218 baby, you'll knock them dead! 58 00:05:27,218 --> 00:05:30,260 Who are you? Is this some kind of sick joke? 59 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:34,093 Cyclops, sweetheart! 60 00:05:34,093 --> 00:05:39,135 I'm offering you X-Men a lifetime contract! 61 00:05:39,135 --> 00:05:40,885 With the standard non-survival clauses. 62 00:05:40,885 --> 00:05:43,010 Don't worry, it's just a formality. 63 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,885 I'm still not sure what you're selling, pal, but we're leaving. 64 00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:47,593 A rejection! 65 00:05:49,135 --> 00:05:51,968 Well, well, I should have known better 66 00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:53,468 than to try to help out some 67 00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:56,135 ungrateful amateur act from a... 68 00:05:56,135 --> 00:05:58,885 from a dirt-bag dimension like yours! 69 00:05:58,885 --> 00:06:02,135 Who do you think you are? You're nothing! A nobody! 70 00:06:03,135 --> 00:06:06,135 And nobody says "No" to Mojo! 71 00:06:13,885 --> 00:06:16,135 Listen up, one-eye. 72 00:06:16,135 --> 00:06:19,176 I make the program decisions around here! 73 00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:37,176 Stop it! He can't survive much more! 74 00:06:38,176 --> 00:06:40,176 Oh... tell it to a lawyer. 75 00:06:40,176 --> 00:06:42,593 Do I interfere in your contract negotiations? 76 00:06:42,593 --> 00:06:45,176 Like I need some two-bit supporting actress 77 00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:47,718 telling me how to run my business! 78 00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:55,176 What is this? The Fourth of July? 79 00:06:55,176 --> 00:06:57,468 Scott! Are you all right? 80 00:06:57,468 --> 00:07:02,301 (GASPS) Now that's what I call entertainment! Spiral! 81 00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:05,968 Would you show our cast to the studio and call wardrobe? 82 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,593 They look like they dressed out of a dumpster! 83 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,218 (LAUGHING) I mean, really. 84 00:07:10,885 --> 00:07:13,885 Excuse me one moment, would you, please? 85 00:07:13,885 --> 00:07:16,218 The auditions are closed. 86 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,301 Time to report to the set. 87 00:07:26,218 --> 00:07:27,260 Jean! 88 00:08:04,176 --> 00:08:05,885 What an entrance! 89 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:09,301 Can you hear that applause? They love you guys! 90 00:08:09,301 --> 00:08:12,593 Stick with me and you, X-Men, will be stars. 91 00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:16,218 Not like that ungrateful has-been... 92 00:08:16,218 --> 00:08:21,426 - What's his name? - Longshot, O Depraved Omelet. 93 00:08:21,426 --> 00:08:22,885 Longshot. 94 00:08:24,885 --> 00:08:27,176 He'll never eat lunch in this universe again! 95 00:08:27,176 --> 00:08:30,510 He's gone, he's history, he's jet fumes. 96 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:34,468 He is forgotten, O Corrupter of Crania. 97 00:08:34,468 --> 00:08:38,176 You've got about 10 seconds to send us back! 98 00:08:38,176 --> 00:08:43,260 Excuse me, are you threatening me? 99 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,968 Hey, hey, hey, this isn't a comedy! 100 00:08:46,968 --> 00:08:48,718 If you can't keep your lines straight, 101 00:08:48,718 --> 00:08:51,593 I can write you out of the first act! 102 00:08:51,593 --> 00:08:53,301 Power tends to corrupt, 103 00:08:53,301 --> 00:08:56,885 and absolute power corrupts absolutely, 104 00:08:56,885 --> 00:08:58,718 as seems evident. 105 00:08:58,718 --> 00:09:01,176 Hey, furball, you had all your shots? 106 00:09:01,176 --> 00:09:05,968 And what, pray tell, are you X-Men going to give this 107 00:09:05,968 --> 00:09:08,593 mind-numbed bunch of couch potatoes 108 00:09:08,593 --> 00:09:10,176 and the trillions watching at home? 109 00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:11,718 What do they want to see? 110 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,968 Peace? Freedom? 111 00:09:15,176 --> 00:09:17,968 (LAUGHING) Maybe good government? 112 00:09:19,468 --> 00:09:24,218 They want blood and guts and love and hate. 113 00:09:24,218 --> 00:09:27,468 They want entertainment! 114 00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:31,218 You give them action! Action! Action! 115 00:09:39,135 --> 00:09:41,593 The X-Men don't fight without a reason! 116 00:09:41,593 --> 00:09:45,176 Violence and destruction are not forms of amusement. 117 00:09:46,885 --> 00:09:51,093 Trust me, O My Performing Cattle, they are! 118 00:09:51,093 --> 00:09:53,426 And if ratings don't go up with every show, 119 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:58,343 I'll cancel the series and its performers permanently! 120 00:09:58,343 --> 00:10:03,260 Control room, it's showtime! 121 00:10:09,885 --> 00:10:12,426 - What happened to Storm? - Scott! 122 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:31,093 - How did we get out here? - I think we can thank our friend Mojo. 123 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,593 - Where did that come from? - Over there! 124 00:10:42,468 --> 00:10:45,301 - Torpedo! - This one's mine. 125 00:10:57,426 --> 00:10:59,218 Now to give them the slip. 126 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,593 We can't outrun those! 127 00:11:18,593 --> 00:11:21,260 I shall deal with the airborne threat! 128 00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:30,593 Wind and water, whirl and rage! 129 00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:43,260 Bravo! Bravo! 130 00:11:55,301 --> 00:11:57,843 Cyclops! We must abandon ship! 131 00:12:03,301 --> 00:12:07,718 (LAUGHING) Now that's what I call a slam-bang ending! 132 00:12:19,468 --> 00:12:23,093 Listen to that audience response! 133 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:27,635 I'm getting numbers here that mathematician have never heard of. 134 00:12:27,635 --> 00:12:31,093 The ratings are going through the roof! 135 00:12:35,135 --> 00:12:38,843 I may have to let them live. 136 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:40,343 You're sick! 137 00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:45,010 Scott and Storm are human beings! 138 00:12:45,010 --> 00:12:48,093 You can't destroy them, just to keep people amused! 139 00:12:48,093 --> 00:12:50,426 Do I look like a man that cares? 140 00:12:51,510 --> 00:12:56,218 Hey, control room, bring up show number two. 141 00:12:56,218 --> 00:12:58,010 Control room. 142 00:12:58,468 --> 00:13:00,593 Control room! 143 00:13:00,593 --> 00:13:03,468 We've got to get somebody to help with the filing. 144 00:13:09,593 --> 00:13:11,135 Where's Rogue? 145 00:13:14,885 --> 00:13:19,718 Out of the blackness of space comes... 146 00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:23,093 Rogue Star! 147 00:13:29,426 --> 00:13:32,635 I tell you, this gal, Rogue, is big! 148 00:13:32,635 --> 00:13:36,010 Every kid in your dimension will give her right arm 149 00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,635 for a pair of Rogue gloves! 150 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,135 What's going on, Beast? 151 00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:43,718 Looks like old blubber guts 152 00:13:43,718 --> 00:13:46,010 stuck us in some high-tech shooting gallery. 153 00:13:54,718 --> 00:13:55,760 Oh, dear. 154 00:14:01,218 --> 00:14:04,010 Deft maneuver, my dear. But a bit breathtaking. 155 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:08,218 We may be outgunned. But this little honey sure can handle. 156 00:14:08,593 --> 00:14:13,093 Oh! Stupendous! 157 00:14:25,468 --> 00:14:27,135 We are stable, 158 00:14:27,135 --> 00:14:30,885 but I fear our course is taking us into the sun! 159 00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:34,718 Dang-blasted thing won't turn! 160 00:14:34,718 --> 00:14:37,593 - Hey! - Rogue! 161 00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:41,260 Unhand her, you repulsive reptilians! 162 00:15:06,343 --> 00:15:09,468 Beast! Beast! Beast! 163 00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:14,760 Ooh... that's colossal! 164 00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:20,885 I give it two flippers up. 165 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,135 Next! 166 00:15:39,343 --> 00:15:43,343 And now it's Wolverine, starring in... 167 00:15:49,343 --> 00:15:51,176 I Dream of Jean! 168 00:15:51,176 --> 00:15:52,593 Let's give it up. Push that applause button, Spiral. 169 00:15:52,593 --> 00:15:53,718 Let's rock 'n' roll. 170 00:16:01,968 --> 00:16:06,468 Wolverine! Listen! Mojo said it's only entertainment. 171 00:16:06,468 --> 00:16:08,010 He won't let us win! 172 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,010 He's controlling everything that happens! 173 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,718 I'm going to try... 174 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:17,468 - Jean! What a love story! 175 00:16:18,468 --> 00:16:21,301 Am I moved by this mush, or what? 176 00:16:35,635 --> 00:16:39,968 The highest ratings ever for an educational show! 177 00:16:42,718 --> 00:16:46,010 Entertainment. It's just television. 178 00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:49,010 Electronic images created by machines. 179 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:56,010 - Logan! - Hang on, Jean! 180 00:16:58,010 --> 00:17:00,885 Electronic images created by machines, 181 00:17:01,301 --> 00:17:05,010 and machines can be affected by psycho-kinetic energy! 182 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:09,593 (STAMMERING) What... What is this? 183 00:17:15,843 --> 00:17:16,885 No! 184 00:17:19,176 --> 00:17:21,593 Control room! 185 00:17:21,593 --> 00:17:24,343 What are you doing up there? Sitting on your hands! 186 00:17:25,468 --> 00:17:28,635 Go to a commercial! Go to reruns! 187 00:17:28,635 --> 00:17:30,885 Go to an infomercial! Go to something! 188 00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:34,593 I'm losing my audience to a bunch of dead trees! 189 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,301 What are you doing here? 190 00:17:36,301 --> 00:17:38,468 I'm setting the X-Men free. 191 00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:42,010 So they can get out of my time slot. 192 00:17:53,093 --> 00:17:57,718 Hey, hey, hey! You make them into stars 193 00:17:58,218 --> 00:18:00,968 and they just turn on you. 194 00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,343 No! 195 00:18:02,343 --> 00:18:04,885 How about giving me a lift, Rogue? 196 00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:06,593 Any time, sugar. 197 00:18:06,593 --> 00:18:09,843 Hold it! 198 00:18:09,843 --> 00:18:12,468 This, if you haven't been paying attention, 199 00:18:12,468 --> 00:18:14,176 is my dimension! 200 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:19,010 Get with the program or get crushed! 201 00:18:47,635 --> 00:18:50,093 Can someone please tell me what just happened? 202 00:18:57,468 --> 00:19:00,385 Everything that Mojo created is gone. 203 00:19:01,468 --> 00:19:03,468 Especially the audience. 204 00:19:03,468 --> 00:19:07,843 Well, nothing lasts forever, especially in television. 205 00:19:07,843 --> 00:19:11,468 Did I tell you I used to go out with an actress with two heads? 206 00:19:11,468 --> 00:19:15,135 - Yeah? Was she nice? Yes and no. 207 00:19:19,135 --> 00:19:20,510 Bubula! 208 00:19:20,968 --> 00:19:23,718 Come here. Come here, yeah. 209 00:19:25,885 --> 00:19:28,510 You look great. Lost weight? Had the face-lift? Whatever. 210 00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:32,760 Listen, it's time we did a fresh start, you know. 211 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,426 Now, we did a little re-think on 212 00:19:34,426 --> 00:19:36,301 that re-write for are-group on are-draft. 213 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:40,593 No, I'm talking new show, new time slot, new dimension, 214 00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:44,176 bigger hair, less money. The whole nine yards! 215 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,010 Ooh! 216 00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:53,010 Look! A jungle picture! 217 00:20:00,176 --> 00:20:02,385 That must be your Citadel. 218 00:20:02,385 --> 00:20:06,760 Yes, when I built it, I felt I was creating a new world here. 219 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,010 Magneto, we must help her! 220 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,426 No, Charles! 221 00:20:23,468 --> 00:20:26,385 The creature attacking the woman is Sauron. 222 00:20:26,385 --> 00:20:29,218 His powers would make him a dangerous foe, 223 00:20:29,218 --> 00:20:31,218 even if we still had our own. 224 00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:40,593 There is nothing we can do.