1 00:00:05,370 --> 00:00:08,900 They say you need to do something for 10,000 hours to be an expert at it. 2 00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:10,570 Guess what Jock is an expert at? 3 00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:13,530 I've got to stop, me mouth's killing me. 4 00:00:14,810 --> 00:00:16,460 Do you want to do it again tomorrow? 5 00:00:16,490 --> 00:00:19,010 Not tomorrow. We could get lockjaw if we do too much of it. 6 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,780 What's wrong with you now? 7 00:00:25,810 --> 00:00:27,210 I thought we were going out. 8 00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:32,060 Look, I can't talk to you when you're all emotional. 9 00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,460 We'll chat about it tomorrow. 10 00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:35,610 OK. 11 00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:42,940 Is she, like, your girlfriend now or something? 12 00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:44,460 Jesus, no. 13 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:46,460 She seems to think so. 14 00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:47,650 That's her problem. 15 00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:02,940 Jock is like a mentor to me when it comes to women, 16 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:06,020 and the best person to talk to when it comes to relationship advice. 17 00:01:06,050 --> 00:01:08,460 Having a girlfriend's like buying a bike in the shop. 18 00:01:08,490 --> 00:01:10,940 What's the point when you can steal a different one every day? 19 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:13,180 The city's full of them. That's all right for you to say. 20 00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:14,580 You're good at stealing bikes. 21 00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:17,340 I'd be happy with just one nice, reliable bike. 22 00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:19,820 Yeah, but would you not like to ride a load of different bikes 23 00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:21,900 before deciding on the one that you want? 24 00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:24,180 I kind of already know the one I like. 25 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,540 All right, fair enough. 26 00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:27,980 Give me the make and model, and I'll nick it for you. 27 00:01:28,010 --> 00:01:30,340 Wait, we are talking about girls, aren't we? 28 00:01:30,370 --> 00:01:32,250 I thought we switched to bikes. 29 00:01:38,090 --> 00:01:39,530 Fuck! 30 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:42,780 There's Sergeant Healy. 31 00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:45,730 He's basically a shit Irish Terminator. 32 00:01:57,690 --> 00:01:59,980 You know, it's really great to be such an inspiration 33 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:03,580 to the younger kids in our neighbourhood. 34 00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:04,900 Get out the way! 35 00:02:08,530 --> 00:02:11,050 Hurry, hurry, hurry! I AM fucking hurrying! 36 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:22,490 Get back here, lads! 37 00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:28,290 Come, on this way! Quick! Thank you, Mrs McCarthy! 38 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,810 Open the fucking door! 39 00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:44,690 Ah, Jesus Christ! 40 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:58,660 Our school used to be an all-boys school, but they introduced girls 41 00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:01,250 in the mid-'90s to reduce fighting at lunch break. 42 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:05,460 Take that out of your nose. I won't tell you again. 43 00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:08,420 And stop holding hands. Stop. 44 00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:10,740 Last thing I'd want to be doing on a hot day 45 00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:12,500 is holding someone's sweaty hand. 46 00:03:20,170 --> 00:03:22,340 Is that the... 47 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,250 .. the bike you were on about earlier? 48 00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:26,900 Is it? 49 00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:30,540 I'll help you get with her if you like, but you've got to be careful. 50 00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:32,820 Do you remember what happened to Seany? 51 00:03:32,850 --> 00:03:35,540 Seany fell in love with this wan called Dicey Dearbhla, 52 00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:37,180 and she ended up giving him the flick. 53 00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:38,450 It's over! 54 00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:41,100 He used to be gifted at stealing shit, 55 00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:42,820 but his heart just wasn't in it any more. 56 00:03:42,850 --> 00:03:44,540 HE CRIES 57 00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:47,060 Oi, come on! Get off of me! 58 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,380 He got six months in jail because of that. 59 00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:51,460 Then when he got out, he saw her with another fella. 60 00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:54,020 Now he's a drug addict living on the streets. 61 00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:55,180 Jesus. 62 00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:57,220 Love will do that to you. 63 00:03:57,250 --> 00:04:00,460 As soon as you start to like her too much, you've got to break it off. 64 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,650 Got it. 65 00:04:03,570 --> 00:04:04,780 What are you doing? 66 00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:07,220 Going to ask if she wants to shift you after school. 67 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,380 No fucking way. Why not? 68 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:12,300 You need to go through the levels. First you stare at them, 69 00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:16,820 then they catch you, and then you go over and explain why you're staring. 70 00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:18,330 Has that ever worked for you? 71 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:26,380 I'll tell you what, I'll get with her sister, Siobhan. 72 00:04:26,410 --> 00:04:28,580 That way, we'll be like a foursome hanging out, 73 00:04:28,610 --> 00:04:31,220 then eventually, Linda will get bored and she'll have to shift you. 74 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,930 Thanks. 75 00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:39,420 How's it going? How you getting on? Not too bad. 76 00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:41,580 We were just eyeing you up there, we saw a bit of a ring. 77 00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:44,380 We could see it shining. Can I have a look at it? 78 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:47,580 Got it in the Savoy. Is that from the Savoy? Yeah. 79 00:04:47,610 --> 00:04:51,020 Do up your tie, will you? Do up your tie. 80 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,700 Up, up, up, up, up, up. 81 00:04:52,730 --> 00:04:55,300 All the way, all the way, all the way. All the way. 82 00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:57,460 Your hands are so soft. It's the moisturising. 83 00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:58,780 Do you use that stuff? 84 00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:02,170 Moisturiser. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 85 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,130 Come on, you know the rules. Stop holding hands. 86 00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:17,180 Anyone wearing trainers with their uniform, 87 00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,740 you've been warned enough times. 88 00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:21,890 Take them off now. Spend the rest of the day in your socks. 89 00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:30,460 I thought getting a girlfriend would involve something simple, 90 00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:33,180 like telling them you like them and asking them to go out with you, 91 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:35,420 but it's actually a lot more complicated than that. 92 00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:37,300 Linda has to see you shifting someone else. 93 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,290 That way, she'll think you're the man. 94 00:05:41,410 --> 00:05:42,500 This him? Yeah. 95 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:44,340 This is Janette, she was one of my first. 96 00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:45,620 Good kisser, no bullshit. 97 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,620 JANETTE SNORTS 98 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,180 This needs to look natural, like the two of you have done it 99 00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:53,050 loads before, and Linda, the black one, has to be watching. Yep. 100 00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,770 Let's get on with it. 101 00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:06,660 We've been waiting here ages. Mam and Da are picking us up soon. 102 00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:09,450 Yeah, sorry. Janette had to stop to get a tampon from the shop. 103 00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:12,020 Yeah. 104 00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:13,380 You want to shift? 105 00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:14,930 Yeah, all right, then. 106 00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,860 Hi, Linda. Hi. 107 00:06:24,890 --> 00:06:26,580 This is Janette. 108 00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:28,130 Hiya. 109 00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:37,540 JANETTE SNORTS 110 00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:39,580 Ready? 111 00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:41,010 Come on, then. 112 00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:50,420 Did you ever try and kiss someone 113 00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,140 when you know someone else is watching? 114 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:54,900 You start picturing what they see, and end up trying to do it better 115 00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:56,730 based on what you think you look like. 116 00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,500 Why are you combing my hair? 117 00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:04,340 I'm not combing, I'm caressing. 118 00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:06,300 What does caressing mean? 119 00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:09,900 Er, it's like when you touch something really lovingly. 120 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,820 Love? Well, not love, like, I didn't mean that. 121 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,260 I don't love you. You'd better not! 122 00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:17,130 This is fucked up. I'm going. 123 00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:22,820 She's obviously not having a good day. 124 00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:24,580 Clearly. 125 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,930 I mean, I don't know why she got so upset. 126 00:07:28,770 --> 00:07:31,020 Using your hands shows initiative. 127 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:35,140 The way you held her and the way you touched her and... 128 00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,380 Yeah. 129 00:07:36,410 --> 00:07:40,140 .. the way you held your body around her, your body language. 130 00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:42,340 I think it was pretty romantic. 131 00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,700 Well, like, tell me if I'm wrong, but isn't this nice? 132 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:47,220 Oh, yeah, it's really nice. Oh, your hair's way better! 133 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:48,820 Yeah! It feels like ropes. 134 00:07:48,850 --> 00:07:51,860 No, it's not like ropes, but, yeah, I get your point, though. 135 00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:54,170 Yeah. She must have a thing about her hair. 136 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:58,660 It's not even like she was that good. 137 00:07:58,690 --> 00:08:00,220 Her tongue was like... 138 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:01,570 ..like an angry snake. 139 00:08:04,490 --> 00:08:06,850 Are you OK? Yeah, thanks. 140 00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:14,890 Shit, fuck. Sorry, no... 141 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,410 You got a tissue? 142 00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:22,100 Are you sure? Go for it. It's fine, it needs washed anyway. 143 00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:23,730 Positive? Yeah. 144 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:28,290 Thanks. 145 00:08:29,890 --> 00:08:31,820 Er... 146 00:08:31,850 --> 00:08:33,500 You've got just a little bit left. 147 00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:35,570 Oh, I... No, it's fine. 148 00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:45,540 You've got to hand it to Jock. 149 00:08:45,570 --> 00:08:47,930 His advice on girls is pretty much idiot-proof. 150 00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:55,860 I thought you said they were meeting friends. Like, girl friends. 151 00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:57,940 Why, what's wrong with them? 152 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,540 They're the worst! 153 00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,340 They are literally the worst two fellas in the school! 154 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:05,700 Oh, I hate them. I hate them! 155 00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:09,500 They're only having a chat with two fellas on a bench, for God's sake. 156 00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,460 Orla, this is where it starts. 157 00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:14,540 They talk on the bench, and then they go back to the house. 158 00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:16,060 They say, "Let's chill." 159 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:18,620 That's the words they use, then they don't chill. 160 00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:20,540 Barry, you're going to have to trust the girls. 161 00:09:20,570 --> 00:09:22,900 You know that, like, OK? 162 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,380 I'm going to go over and say hello. Yeah, go over and say hello, 163 00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:28,450 and don't embarrass the girls in front of their two friends. 164 00:09:40,690 --> 00:09:42,980 Jock. Conor. 165 00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:45,860 All right so? Hi, sir. 166 00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:48,300 Girls, your mam's in the car, waiting for you. 167 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:49,570 I'll be over in a minute. 168 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,530 Can I sit down? 169 00:10:05,290 --> 00:10:08,050 See you and Linda and Siobhan are getting very friendly these days. 170 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,210 Just like to ask you what your intentions are... 171 00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:14,450 ..man-to-man. 172 00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:18,410 Is this one of them conversations about protection? 173 00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,330 What's up with him? 174 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,260 Calm down now, Barry. Barry... 175 00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:48,380 You're not hanging out with them any more. Barry... 176 00:10:48,410 --> 00:10:50,420 .. necking their face off! 177 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:54,180 Barry, would you just drive the fucking car? 178 00:10:54,210 --> 00:10:56,530 ENGINE STARTS 179 00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:04,700 That's me da there. He died a few years back. 180 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,820 Some dickhead dropped a hammer off a roof. 181 00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:08,050 Watch out! 182 00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:13,980 Jesus Christ! 183 00:11:14,010 --> 00:11:15,570 How come you ended up with Dad? 184 00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:19,740 Same as everyone else - I got pregnant. 185 00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:23,740 You didn't have to marry him, though. What did you like about him? 186 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,620 Is this about a girl? 187 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,340 No, fuck off. 188 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:29,410 Relax! Jesus. 189 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:48,610 After your dad got me up the pole, I was raging. 190 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,330 Couldn't even look at him. 191 00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:55,380 I'd say a month went by. 192 00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,260 He'd be calling every day, and I'd be saying I wasn't in. 193 00:11:58,290 --> 00:12:01,410 But then another month went by, I didn't hear from him at all. 194 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,660 I was feeling like shit, 195 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,380 so your grandad brought me down to his workshop, 196 00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:09,650 and he showed me a wooden cot he'd made. 197 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,010 It was ugly as fuck. 198 00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,010 But so much thought had gone into it. 199 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,260 Then he told me that your dad was down there every day 200 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,090 for the last month, making it with him. 201 00:12:24,770 --> 00:12:26,570 Wasn't the smartest, your dad. 202 00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:31,090 But he knew if he won your grandad over, he'd have me too. 203 00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:35,820 I like to think that, someday, 204 00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:38,540 I might be doing carpentry with Linda's da. 205 00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:53,100 Hiya. 206 00:12:53,130 --> 00:12:54,780 Hi. 207 00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:56,090 Can I come in? 208 00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:07,940 Being a good criminal is all about keeping your cool 209 00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:09,690 when confronted by the Guards. 210 00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:14,860 Hiya. 211 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:18,100 Just checking in you're OK after that ordeal in the school last week. 212 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,410 I'm fine. 213 00:13:21,370 --> 00:13:23,580 And you're OK? 214 00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:26,090 Yeah. Fine. 215 00:13:28,210 --> 00:13:29,410 Brought you some biscuits. 216 00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:36,820 There was no need. 217 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,860 I wanted to. 218 00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:40,210 Thanks. 219 00:13:42,050 --> 00:13:44,380 Maybe I'll leave you my number, 220 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:46,970 just in case you ever need a Guard for something. 221 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:49,850 Can I not just dial 999? 222 00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:55,980 Well, if you can't get through, you'll have this as a backup. 223 00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:57,370 OK. 224 00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:04,050 I'll show myself out. 225 00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:07,060 Bye. 226 00:14:07,090 --> 00:14:08,370 Bye. 227 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,620 What was that about? 228 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,130 Fucked if I know. 229 00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:40,340 Boop! What are you doing? 230 00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:42,100 It's a boop. A boop? 231 00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:44,330 Yeah, you do it to someone you think is cute. 232 00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:47,980 Lads. 233 00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:50,420 Siobhan was telling me inside the bathrooms that he was after 234 00:14:50,450 --> 00:14:52,860 getting off with four girls through the week. Siobhan Casey? 235 00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:55,100 Yeah. She's a fucking bitch. 236 00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:56,980 So? She's telling the truth, like. 237 00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:59,140 Everyone knows that's the way Jock is. 238 00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:00,260 I know what you're doing. 239 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,300 Is it like the kind of thing where it's hard to get? 240 00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:04,940 You tell me to fuck off, and then it's like 241 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,700 then you always want me to come back to you. 242 00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:08,210 I've seen that in the movies. 243 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,380 Are you expecting anyone? 244 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:26,900 No. 245 00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:29,180 Hello! Hello, hello! 246 00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:30,850 Jesus! 247 00:15:32,810 --> 00:15:34,250 Hello! 248 00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:43,170 Hi, sir. All right? 249 00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:45,850 What do you want? 250 00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:49,850 Can we come inside? 251 00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:53,570 In here? To MY house? 252 00:15:58,010 --> 00:16:00,980 When I was younger, I used to have difficulty reading body language, 253 00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:02,730 but I'm pretty good at it these days. 254 00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,020 Dad, what are you doing? 255 00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:20,610 I invited them over. 256 00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:25,780 Come in, boys. Make yourselves at home. 257 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,700 Thank you. 258 00:16:27,730 --> 00:16:28,930 Thank you. 259 00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:33,570 SHE MOUTHS 260 00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,620 I don't want you upsetting our two girls, all right? 261 00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:54,460 What, as long as they just get pregnant and not upset? 262 00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:56,140 I guess that's what matters, right? 263 00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,060 For fuck's sake, what are you on about? 264 00:16:58,090 --> 00:17:01,660 They're here to sexually involve themselves with Linda and Siobhan. 265 00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:04,540 That's why they're here. They're not here for sausages and burgers. 266 00:17:04,570 --> 00:17:07,140 You could have warned me Jock was coming. I would have gone out. 267 00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:09,860 The only reason Jock came's because Conor wouldn't go without him. 268 00:17:09,890 --> 00:17:11,220 They're like two peas in a pod. 269 00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:13,100 We're going to have a lovely fucking evening, 270 00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:15,220 you're going to put some sausages on that barbecue, 271 00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,100 and you're going to fucking smile, all right? 272 00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:19,020 You're going to be a granny in nine months' time 273 00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,860 because you want sausages and smiles today. 274 00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:22,170 Have you seen Dad's face? 275 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,900 That's what he looks like now because of you. 276 00:17:29,930 --> 00:17:32,300 As long as you're happy, that's all that matters, isn't it? 277 00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:34,340 Yeah, I'm glad you fucking understand that. 278 00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:37,260 Good, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, good. Best behaviour now, Barry, right? 279 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,100 Best behaviour. All smiles. 280 00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:40,860 All smiles, exactly. 281 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,930 Yeah, happy fucking days. Yeah. 282 00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,690 Little fucking pricks. 283 00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:54,300 There's no need to be nervous. You've seen her looking at you, 284 00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:57,260 she can't take her eyes off you since you arrived. 285 00:17:57,290 --> 00:17:58,450 I just go up and I say... 286 00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:01,770 "All right, hi, Linda." 287 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:04,650 "Oh, hello, Conor." 288 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,100 What, that's Linda, is it? 289 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,620 Yeah. 290 00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:12,300 Grand, all right. 291 00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:15,100 Hi, Linda. Hello, Conor. 292 00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:16,530 So... 293 00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:19,540 Do you want to maybe...? 294 00:18:19,570 --> 00:18:21,060 Do you want to be my girlfriend? 295 00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,820 Oh, have to check my schedule to see if I'm busy. 296 00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:26,580 Fuck you, so. If you don't have time for me, fuck... 297 00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:27,780 Fuck off. 298 00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:30,380 I've checked my schedule, and I'm free this weekend. 299 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,930 Boop! 300 00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:37,300 Are you actually? Nice. All right. 301 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:40,900 So, what, maybe we could go out on Saturday or something? 302 00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:44,890 I'm free on Saturday, Conor, but you need to give me a kiss. 303 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:48,850 Er... 304 00:18:51,690 --> 00:18:53,330 What the fuck are you doing, boy? 305 00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:56,220 You said, "Give me a kiss." 306 00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:58,420 Yeah, I didn't say that, Linda said that. 307 00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:00,050 Yeah, I was kissing Linda. 308 00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:04,170 Just drop it, all right? Sorry. 309 00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:09,570 Hey, but I'll see you Saturday. 310 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,820 Was that good? You did well, though. 311 00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:15,340 That's the kind of thing we'll be going for. 312 00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:16,860 OK, yeah, yeah. 313 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,700 I'll just stay calm and collected. 314 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,140 Hiya! 315 00:19:20,170 --> 00:19:21,610 Fucking hell, why did I do that? 316 00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:26,540 Just leave you to it, all right? No, fucking stay! 317 00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:28,700 No... Stay, please! 318 00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:30,810 Please, please! Fucking hell. Hiya. 319 00:19:34,610 --> 00:19:35,770 Shit! 320 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,330 Are you all right? Yeah! 321 00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:46,260 How's it going? Hiya. 322 00:19:46,290 --> 00:19:47,900 You look good. 323 00:19:47,930 --> 00:19:49,290 I know. 324 00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:53,380 You OK? 325 00:19:53,410 --> 00:19:54,890 I'm fine. All right. 326 00:19:56,050 --> 00:19:57,980 You seem a bit moody or something. 327 00:19:58,010 --> 00:19:59,890 No. 328 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:02,770 All right. 329 00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:19,650 Fuck... 330 00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:26,180 Are you nervous? No, why? 331 00:20:26,210 --> 00:20:28,340 You're pulling the hairs out your 'tache. 332 00:20:28,370 --> 00:20:31,340 I'm just checking the length. It's just... 333 00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:34,060 You know, it grows so quick, you've got to keep on top of it, you know? 334 00:20:34,090 --> 00:20:35,330 Yeah, I guess, yeah. 335 00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,420 All right, let's cut the bullshit. 336 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:42,980 What bullshit? Huh? What? 337 00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:44,660 I just need to say something. 338 00:20:44,690 --> 00:20:46,700 OK. So... 339 00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:48,450 Just give me a second. Sorry. 340 00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,810 Sir, how are you? Mm. 341 00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,850 Nice old selection of sausages there. 342 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:04,660 Conor likes them short stumpy ones. Have you had them before? 343 00:21:04,690 --> 00:21:07,250 I kind of prefer the long skinny ones there. 344 00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:11,290 I'd say Siobhan likes a big sausage, does she? 345 00:21:13,570 --> 00:21:15,660 So... 346 00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:17,260 .. Linda... 347 00:21:17,290 --> 00:21:18,530 ..do you think...? 348 00:21:19,650 --> 00:21:21,740 What do you think about...? 349 00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:23,580 If you're interested... 350 00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:24,620 HE BELCHES 351 00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,780 ..at all, in any way, at some point...? 352 00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:28,420 In what? 353 00:21:28,450 --> 00:21:30,460 Like, go with me? 354 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:33,180 Go where? Just kind of in general. 355 00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:34,940 Just kind of go with me, like? 356 00:21:34,970 --> 00:21:36,580 Like, be your girlfriend? 357 00:21:36,610 --> 00:21:38,660 Pff! 358 00:21:38,690 --> 00:21:40,860 No! Ha! 359 00:21:40,890 --> 00:21:42,740 No, of course not! 360 00:21:42,770 --> 00:21:44,530 Ask me again. 361 00:21:45,650 --> 00:21:47,820 What? Ask me. 362 00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:49,170 Just ask me again. 363 00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,820 Will you be my girlfriend? 364 00:21:52,850 --> 00:21:54,900 Linda! One second! 365 00:21:54,930 --> 00:21:57,650 Now, Linda! Your mother needs help in the kitchen. 366 00:21:59,450 --> 00:22:01,780 Just wait here two seconds. All right? All right. 367 00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:03,860 I'll be right back to you. All right. 368 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:05,820 OK. Promise. Promise. 369 00:22:05,850 --> 00:22:07,610 Two seconds. Two seconds. 370 00:22:08,970 --> 00:22:10,410 Boom! 371 00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:13,540 What did she say? 372 00:22:13,570 --> 00:22:15,850 Nothing yet, she had to go help her mam. 373 00:22:17,450 --> 00:22:19,850 But I'm pretty sure she's going to say yes, though! 374 00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:23,700 A big sausage for me, yeah? 375 00:22:23,730 --> 00:22:25,300 You're not getting any sausage! 376 00:22:25,330 --> 00:22:27,050 What's got into you? 377 00:22:35,410 --> 00:22:37,500 What are you smiling about? 378 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,100 Nothing. 379 00:22:39,130 --> 00:22:41,460 Come on, why are you smiling? 380 00:22:41,490 --> 00:22:43,210 You can't take it off your face! 381 00:22:46,290 --> 00:22:49,010 Has it got something to do with that ride outside gawking in at you? 382 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:53,140 He asked me to be his girlfriend, and... 383 00:22:53,170 --> 00:22:55,540 And? And what? 384 00:22:55,570 --> 00:22:56,980 And what did you say? 385 00:22:57,010 --> 00:22:58,820 I didn't give him an answer yet, 386 00:22:58,850 --> 00:23:02,140 I just came here because Da said you wanted me up here. 387 00:23:02,170 --> 00:23:04,660 Ah, Jesus, don't leave him hanging, the poor fucker. 388 00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:06,740 He's probably bricking it. 389 00:23:06,770 --> 00:23:09,420 I wouldn't tell him till next week, and make him sweat. 390 00:23:09,450 --> 00:23:11,700 That way he'll always want you, even after you dump him. 391 00:23:11,730 --> 00:23:13,330 You have a very dark side to you. 392 00:23:14,450 --> 00:23:16,370 I don't know where you get that from. 393 00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:21,130 What did I tell you? 394 00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:25,650 Ah, me balls! 395 00:23:41,570 --> 00:23:45,220 Sorry, sir. We were just doing a bit of wrestling. 396 00:23:45,250 --> 00:23:46,570 It's OK. 397 00:23:47,770 --> 00:23:49,660 I love wrestling. 398 00:23:49,690 --> 00:23:51,370 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 399 00:23:53,410 --> 00:23:54,850 Haven't done it in ages. 400 00:23:57,130 --> 00:23:59,220 Do you mind if I have a go? 401 00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:01,380 What, with me? 402 00:24:01,410 --> 00:24:02,570 Yeah. 403 00:24:03,770 --> 00:24:05,940 HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY 404 00:24:05,970 --> 00:24:08,860 Wait, are you being serious now, or is this one of them situations 405 00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:11,140 where I misread the signals and end up in trouble? 406 00:24:11,170 --> 00:24:12,650 No, it'll be a bit of fun. 407 00:24:13,970 --> 00:24:15,330 Come on. 408 00:24:17,370 --> 00:24:18,740 What's wrong? 409 00:24:18,770 --> 00:24:20,490 Er, this just feels a bit weird. 410 00:24:26,530 --> 00:24:30,050 Habanera from Carmen by Bizet 411 00:24:46,930 --> 00:24:48,300 That was good. You're still good. 412 00:24:48,330 --> 00:24:49,610 It was, yeah. 413 00:24:51,050 --> 00:24:52,730 What's going on out there? 414 00:24:59,170 --> 00:25:00,850 Looks like they're wrestling. 415 00:25:04,490 --> 00:25:06,130 This should be interesting. 416 00:25:13,290 --> 00:25:14,300 That was close. 417 00:25:14,330 --> 00:25:16,050 It's a good one, yeah? Yeah. 418 00:25:34,530 --> 00:25:37,780 Looks a bit winded there, doesn't he? Yeah. 419 00:25:37,810 --> 00:25:40,730 All right? Want to take a break? No. 420 00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,210 There you are. 421 00:25:53,090 --> 00:25:55,580 Do you mind if I sit down for a while? 422 00:25:55,610 --> 00:25:57,860 I just want to hug, we don't have to kiss or nothing. 423 00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:00,300 No! Please? 424 00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:02,380 I've got this weird pain. 425 00:26:02,410 --> 00:26:04,940 A hug would definitely make it go away for a while. 426 00:26:04,970 --> 00:26:06,290 Jesus Christ! 427 00:26:08,570 --> 00:26:09,610 Please? 428 00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:19,890 That's a good one. 429 00:26:30,810 --> 00:26:32,860 So you want to go out with my Linda, yeah? 430 00:26:32,890 --> 00:26:35,340 Yeah! I mean, that's all right with you. 431 00:26:35,370 --> 00:26:36,900 I really like her. 432 00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:39,420 And you think you're good enough for her? 433 00:26:39,450 --> 00:26:41,140 I don't know, really. 434 00:26:41,170 --> 00:26:43,620 But I guess that's for her to decide. 435 00:26:43,650 --> 00:26:46,420 And if she'd go out with me, I'd be the happiest fella around. 436 00:26:46,450 --> 00:26:48,020 BARRY CHUCKLES 437 00:26:48,050 --> 00:26:49,460 What's so funny? 438 00:26:49,490 --> 00:26:51,860 Do you seriously think I'd let someone like you 439 00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:53,170 go out with my Linda? 440 00:26:54,770 --> 00:26:56,700 What do you mean, "like me"? 441 00:26:56,730 --> 00:26:59,740 You're nothing but a little scumbag knacker. 442 00:26:59,770 --> 00:27:01,860 I know it, Linda knows it, everybody knows it. 443 00:27:01,890 --> 00:27:03,490 And I'd never let you near her. 444 00:27:20,930 --> 00:27:22,610 Jesus! 445 00:27:30,130 --> 00:27:31,980 What the fuck, Conor? 446 00:27:32,010 --> 00:27:33,410 I'm sorry! 447 00:27:34,890 --> 00:27:38,290 Are you OK? Stay away from him! I'm OK, I'm OK. 448 00:27:39,290 --> 00:27:41,020 He was saying some nasty shit. 449 00:27:41,050 --> 00:27:43,020 I was doing a bit of taunting. 450 00:27:43,050 --> 00:27:45,380 That's what happens in wrestling, isn't it? 451 00:27:45,410 --> 00:27:47,580 I thought you were being serious. 452 00:27:47,610 --> 00:27:49,620 Well, I wasn't. 453 00:27:49,650 --> 00:27:53,180 And even if I was, when is it OK to punch somebody in the face? 454 00:27:53,210 --> 00:27:54,770 I'm sorry. 455 00:27:56,370 --> 00:27:57,770 You need to go. 456 00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:02,490 I'll get some ice. 457 00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:21,060 He's lucky. 458 00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:24,090 If this was in school, I'd have him expelled. Hitting a teacher! 459 00:28:25,930 --> 00:28:27,860 What? 460 00:28:27,890 --> 00:28:29,770 You should be ashamed of yourself. 461 00:28:30,810 --> 00:28:33,940 A grown man fighting a 15-year-old boy! 462 00:28:33,970 --> 00:28:35,330 And do you know the worst thing? 463 00:28:36,570 --> 00:28:39,290 You're after breaking your daughter's heart. 464 00:29:05,810 --> 00:29:07,580 You know what? 465 00:29:07,610 --> 00:29:10,490 You haven't taken the time to find out anything about me. 466 00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:13,970 You don't know what food I like... 467 00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:18,330 .. what I want to be when I grow up, what I'm good at, what I'm bad at. 468 00:29:20,610 --> 00:29:24,700 You just see this face, hear this accent, see my fashion sense, 469 00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:26,490 and you've just made up your mind. 470 00:29:28,210 --> 00:29:30,050 But there's more going on up here... 471 00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:34,370 .. than that. 472 00:29:42,050 --> 00:29:43,450 Conor... 473 00:29:46,770 --> 00:29:48,170 .. what food DO you like? 474 00:29:50,690 --> 00:29:52,130 Chicken. 475 00:30:05,250 --> 00:30:08,100 This was the first time Jock had ever been rejected, 476 00:30:08,130 --> 00:30:10,980 and he was taking it better than I expected. 477 00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:12,900 I'm not crying, boy. 478 00:30:12,930 --> 00:30:14,500 It's just hay fever. 479 00:30:14,530 --> 00:30:16,010 I didn't say nothing. 480 00:30:18,570 --> 00:30:20,060 Do you want to shift me friend? 481 00:30:20,090 --> 00:30:21,410 Fuck off! 482 00:30:35,850 --> 00:30:39,180 I heard that only your first love gets to break your heart. 483 00:30:39,210 --> 00:30:43,220 After that, you spend your whole life trying to fix it. 484 00:30:43,250 --> 00:30:45,170 Siobhan's a fucking bitch, boy. 485 00:30:46,170 --> 00:30:48,970 I'm delighted I don't have to talk to her any more.