1 00:00:03,310 --> 00:00:05,292 Mam's always going on about how me and Jock 2 00:00:05,322 --> 00:00:07,352 share part-time jobs. But who the fuck would hire us? 3 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:09,372 She said, "Start with the people you know." 4 00:00:09,402 --> 00:00:12,308 Mam, we got to do two weeks' work experience for school, 5 00:00:12,338 --> 00:00:13,344 can we do it with you? 6 00:00:13,374 --> 00:00:16,360 Not a fuckin' chance. Come on. If we can't find somewhere, they're going to make us 7 00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:18,360 work with the school caretaker cleaning toilets. 8 00:00:18,390 --> 00:00:21,300 And that is, without doubt, the worst job on the planet. 9 00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:24,344 There's a kid who's been putting his shit in the hand dryers. They can't figure out who it is. 10 00:00:24,374 --> 00:00:26,288 It's just disgusting, like. 11 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,358 I got caught the other day. 12 00:00:32,342 --> 00:00:34,350 I mean, who the fuck would find that funny? 13 00:00:35,386 --> 00:00:38,332 C'mon, it'll be interesting to see what the fuck you do every day. 14 00:00:38,362 --> 00:00:40,368 We're actually really interested in fish. 15 00:00:40,398 --> 00:00:42,352 Please, Mam! Yeah, please, Mam! 16 00:00:42,382 --> 00:00:44,372 I'm not yer fuckin' mam. I didn't adopt you. 17 00:00:44,402 --> 00:00:46,338 Please! 18 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:54,328 It doesn't take a genius to figure out that working for a living is for dickheads. 19 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:57,316 Come on. Get up! But it's fucking dark? 20 00:00:57,346 --> 00:00:58,390 You have to get up too early... 21 00:01:01,358 --> 00:01:02,358 Got any clean jocks? 22 00:01:02,386 --> 00:01:05,366 You've to travel on a bus with a bunch of langers. 23 00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:11,376 You have to put up with annoying customers rattling on about some shit you don't care about. 24 00:01:11,406 --> 00:01:13,308 Give me two of them skins. 25 00:01:13,338 --> 00:01:16,308 You're overworked... I cut myself. .. and under appreciated. 26 00:01:16,338 --> 00:01:19,284 I would ask you what you want but I can't fucking reach. 27 00:01:19,314 --> 00:01:20,328 Don't cuss in front of customers. 28 00:01:20,358 --> 00:01:22,308 And you've fuck all to show for it. 29 00:01:22,338 --> 00:01:23,360 Where's the rest of my dinner? 30 00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:27,342 I've got two of you dickheads to feed now instead of one. You try doing it on my wage. 31 00:01:30,318 --> 00:01:31,374 Add some water and give it a shake. 32 00:01:37,322 --> 00:01:39,348 And then do it all over again like a dope. 33 00:01:39,378 --> 00:01:41,308 Get up! 34 00:01:41,338 --> 00:01:43,284 Did someone order one of these? 35 00:01:43,314 --> 00:01:44,318 Ah! 36 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:50,378 Stay out of the way until after lunch, please. Thank you. 37 00:01:55,374 --> 00:01:57,320 Five more days of this shit! 38 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,350 Welcome to the Matrix. 39 00:01:58,366 --> 00:02:01,362 This is what normal people do every day of the fuckin' week. 40 00:02:06,358 --> 00:02:09,364 Any chance of another 50 and I'll make it up to you in extra hours? 41 00:02:09,394 --> 00:02:13,334 Sure, everything all right? Yeah, it'll be grand. Yeah? Sure? Yeah. 42 00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,346 THEY PRETEND TO CHAT 43 00:02:21,322 --> 00:02:24,368 Take the trolley down to the wholesaler's and collect this order. And take as long as you want 44 00:02:24,398 --> 00:02:26,386 cos yer wreckin' everyone's heads here. 45 00:02:39,338 --> 00:02:42,366 The only good thing about this job is it comes with a set of wheels. 46 00:02:44,326 --> 00:02:47,340 Behind me, is a 426lb bluefin tuna, the biggest 47 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:51,308 caught off the coast of County Cork in many years. 48 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:55,354 Bluefin tuna, a delicacy in Japan, can reach obscene amounts of money. 49 00:02:56,370 --> 00:03:00,332 A record sale for one of these fish on the Japanese market, where 50 00:03:00,362 --> 00:03:05,304 bluefin sushi is a delicacy, believe it or not, was 1.5m euros last year! 51 00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:07,368 The one behind me isn't worth quite that, 52 00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:11,348 but should reach 50,000, according to Cork Fish wholesalers, 53 00:03:11,378 --> 00:03:14,296 who are currently accepting bids. 54 00:03:14,326 --> 00:03:15,348 Not bad for one day's fishing. 55 00:03:15,378 --> 00:03:18,284 Sorry, Jim, I forgot to press record that time. 56 00:03:18,314 --> 00:03:20,366 We'll need to go again. 57 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,364 Where'd you fuck off to? 58 00:03:25,394 --> 00:03:28,340 I really enjoyed loading all of this shit onto the trolley meself. 59 00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:32,336 Want to make 5,000 euro for two hours work? 60 00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:34,378 Sure. What's the catch? 61 00:03:39,322 --> 00:03:40,390 Tuna. 62 00:03:44,394 --> 00:03:47,322 I was just talking to Sully there. 63 00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:51,336 If we can brings that big fish down to the docklands tomorrow, about midday, 64 00:03:51,366 --> 00:03:53,364 he'll have a boat waiting and a bag of cash. 65 00:03:53,394 --> 00:03:55,362 Look, I've got a map. 66 00:03:56,386 --> 00:03:58,360 This is where we are, OK? 67 00:03:58,390 --> 00:04:02,292 All we gotta do is bring it from here to here without being seen. 68 00:04:02,322 --> 00:04:04,340 It's a 20-minute walk at the most. 69 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,300 Like, fuckin' steal it? 70 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,327 Yeah, what else! 71 00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:09,338 We do it on Sunday, when no-one's around. 72 00:04:13,322 --> 00:04:15,288 Your mam's fuckin' broke. 73 00:04:15,318 --> 00:04:16,372 Do ya not want to help her out? 74 00:04:16,402 --> 00:04:19,316 I thought I could help her out in a different way, like. 75 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,348 Wipe the piss off the toilet seat or... 76 00:04:21,378 --> 00:04:23,360 So you wipe up the piss that you put there? 77 00:04:23,390 --> 00:04:27,344 Well, yeah, be a gentleman, like. Or be a gentleman. 78 00:04:27,374 --> 00:04:31,312 Flush the shit you put in the toilet, oh, that's a great service. 79 00:04:31,342 --> 00:04:35,340 She needs this money, we could help her out and say thanks for all the good she's been doing for us. 80 00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:39,280 Yeah? Who cares about the wholesaler? This gaff is fucking minted. 81 00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:40,328 He lives in a big fish palace. 82 00:04:40,358 --> 00:04:42,348 He doesn't need this money, we do. Fuck him. 83 00:04:42,378 --> 00:04:44,284 We're at home counting pennies. 84 00:04:44,314 --> 00:04:46,304 Mairead's working double time just to try and feed us, 85 00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:48,360 she's got two kids to look after now instead of one. 86 00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:51,348 And we're doing nothing for her, like. Yeah. 87 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:54,362 Think about the things your mam could do with five grand. 88 00:04:58,326 --> 00:05:00,304 She could get a nice blouse or something. 89 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,330 Yeah. Get a George Foreman grill. 90 00:05:03,402 --> 00:05:05,328 Yeah, she'd like that. 91 00:05:05,358 --> 00:05:07,394 She deserves it. 92 00:05:12,350 --> 00:05:14,300 What do you mean, you were stealing a fish? 93 00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,308 I was stealing a fish, like. 94 00:05:16,338 --> 00:05:18,352 Why? Because you want loads of money! 95 00:05:18,382 --> 00:05:20,292 What about the law? 96 00:05:20,322 --> 00:05:21,352 It's a bit of a grey area. 97 00:05:21,382 --> 00:05:24,348 Nobody owns a fish, is the way I see it, like, you know what I mean? 98 00:05:24,378 --> 00:05:26,356 If I was to rob a car and somebody owns the car, 99 00:05:26,386 --> 00:05:29,308 you get in trouble for that, but no man can own a fish, 100 00:05:29,338 --> 00:05:31,356 because he's his own... He's his own, you know? 101 00:05:31,386 --> 00:05:33,360 HE SNIFFS 102 00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:35,358 HE SNORTS UP PHLEGM 103 00:05:41,378 --> 00:05:42,394 What's wrong with him? 104 00:05:50,326 --> 00:05:52,318 He suffers from frigidity. 105 00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:58,324 What's frigidity? 106 00:05:58,354 --> 00:06:00,344 Frig.. did.. Frigidity. 107 00:06:00,374 --> 00:06:03,280 Do you have enough room? Do you want...? No, you're grand. 108 00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:04,370 No, it's grand.No... 109 00:06:06,386 --> 00:06:08,334 He's a fucking frigid, like? 110 00:06:09,394 --> 00:06:11,336 Frigid... 111 00:06:11,366 --> 00:06:13,330 Frigid, like? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 112 00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:18,394 That's what he has. 113 00:06:20,406 --> 00:06:24,292 Erm, we've better head home. For dinner. 114 00:06:24,322 --> 00:06:25,344 Fucking hell. 115 00:06:25,374 --> 00:06:27,374 My mam's going to kill me, so, eh? 116 00:06:36,386 --> 00:06:39,320 Meself and Jock are generally into daytime crime. 117 00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:42,324 Night-time crime can be very competitive. 118 00:06:42,354 --> 00:06:45,322 Luckily, fish stealing is a bit of a niche market. 119 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:50,354 When did you rob the key? I didn't rob anything. 120 00:06:51,358 --> 00:06:55,370 I just swapped the wholesaler's lock for a similar-looking one yesterday. 121 00:06:57,326 --> 00:07:00,336 So if anyone asks, I'm opening my own lock with my own key. 122 00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:02,336 There's nothing illegal about that. 123 00:07:02,366 --> 00:07:05,364 I've pretty much invented a loophole in the laws against breaking 124 00:07:05,394 --> 00:07:08,312 and entering.So what we're doing, can't get in trouble for? 125 00:07:08,342 --> 00:07:09,342 Not in the eyes of the law. 126 00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:11,316 Well, the can be pretty stupid sometimes! 127 00:07:11,346 --> 00:07:14,318 Lucky for us, there's idiots making the rules. 128 00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:23,338 Jesus, it's a bit bigger than I remember. 129 00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:29,296 Here's a tip if you're ever thinking about stealing a 400lb fish - 130 00:07:29,326 --> 00:07:31,308 bring a forklift. 131 00:07:31,338 --> 00:07:33,354 Oh, you fucking bastard. Come here... 132 00:07:43,318 --> 00:07:45,362 Put the trolley on its side and we can slide it in. 133 00:07:49,358 --> 00:07:50,362 I'll try again. 134 00:07:57,402 --> 00:07:58,406 You nearly had it. 135 00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:04,296 Nearly there. 136 00:08:04,326 --> 00:08:05,348 I'm nearly there! 137 00:08:05,378 --> 00:08:06,406 Yep, I'll give you a hand. 138 00:08:17,326 --> 00:08:18,350 One, two, three! 139 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:27,360 Whenever we try and lift it slowly, it catches on and it goes... 140 00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:30,348 ..so we've got to... Catch it by surprise... by surprise. 141 00:08:30,378 --> 00:08:33,376 Wait, just walk away. Wait. 142 00:08:33,406 --> 00:08:35,402 So, I don't know what I'm going to do... 143 00:08:42,394 --> 00:08:45,342 Cos I just feel like sometimes... 144 00:08:51,338 --> 00:08:52,346 Right, that's it. 145 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,314 Here. 146 00:09:11,322 --> 00:09:13,376 Go, go, go! Yeah. 147 00:09:13,406 --> 00:09:15,344 Now we've just got to stand him up, OK? 148 00:09:15,374 --> 00:09:18,382 And once he's standing, you hold him, and I'm going to pull this out. 149 00:09:19,406 --> 00:09:21,310 OK. 150 00:09:23,382 --> 00:09:24,386 That's all right. 151 00:09:28,330 --> 00:09:29,334 One, two, three! 152 00:09:33,318 --> 00:09:34,350 Yes! 153 00:09:42,318 --> 00:09:43,332 I can't wait to see Mam's face 154 00:09:43,362 --> 00:09:45,368 when we give her the money we get for this tuna. 155 00:09:45,398 --> 00:09:48,316 I've never stolen anything for anyone else before. 156 00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,334 It's actually a really nice feeling. 157 00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:54,378 Do you think it's a man fish or a woman fish?A woman fish. 158 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,372 How would you know? 159 00:09:57,402 --> 00:09:58,406 It's got no dick. 160 00:10:00,402 --> 00:10:02,372 Fish don't have dicks. 161 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,332 They have to have dicks. 162 00:10:04,362 --> 00:10:07,304 How do you think women fish get preggers? 163 00:10:07,334 --> 00:10:09,394 Not sure. All I know is I've never seen a dick on a fish. 164 00:10:11,314 --> 00:10:13,360 There are three main dangers you need to be aware of when 165 00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:17,360 transporting a giant bluefin tuna through Cork city in broad daylight. 166 00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:19,280 The first one is obvious - 167 00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:22,332 any guards that might be on the lookout for a stolen fish. 168 00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:39,322 The second danger is - wild animals. 169 00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:42,310 Go away. 170 00:10:42,338 --> 00:10:45,288 You do not want to find yourself between them and their next meal. 171 00:10:45,318 --> 00:10:48,344 Go home! Fuck off, you filthy scavenger! 172 00:10:48,374 --> 00:10:52,284 The third danger, and the worst of them all - 173 00:10:52,314 --> 00:10:53,307 rival gangs. 174 00:10:53,322 --> 00:10:54,322 What's in that thing? 175 00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:56,308 None of your fucking business. 176 00:10:56,338 --> 00:10:58,366 Smells like a fish. It's not a fucking fish. 177 00:11:02,354 --> 00:11:03,354 Away, away! 178 00:11:03,382 --> 00:11:06,318 I'll ram the cone up ye, you stupid prick. 179 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,402 I want a bit of fish for my dinner! 180 00:11:22,338 --> 00:11:23,338 No, no, no! 181 00:11:23,358 --> 00:11:24,402 Don't drop that! Hey! 182 00:11:35,406 --> 00:11:38,316 Jock has one of them brains which only really 183 00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:40,304 works well in a crisis situation. 184 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,344 Right, mate, what the fuck we going to do? 185 00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:46,284 Do you remember that movie were watching the other night, the black-and-white one? 186 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,303 Not really. 187 00:11:47,318 --> 00:11:49,336 I just fall asleep if it's not in colour. 188 00:11:49,366 --> 00:11:51,328 Was it any good? No, it was shit. 189 00:11:51,358 --> 00:11:54,344 But there was this gangster in it who was after killing a fella 190 00:11:54,374 --> 00:11:56,312 who'd eaten a load of diamonds. 191 00:11:56,342 --> 00:11:59,296 So, he wanted all the diamonds, but couldn't just, like, cut him open, 192 00:11:59,326 --> 00:12:01,340 because there was police outside and everything like that. 193 00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:03,344 What did he do, so? 194 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:06,308 Simple. He came up with this plan, right? 195 00:12:06,338 --> 00:12:08,340 He tied a rope round his feet, threw him into the river and 196 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:11,312 just walked out of the city with a rope over his shoulder, like this. 197 00:12:11,342 --> 00:12:13,324 Sure, nobody's going to look at a fella with a rope 198 00:12:13,354 --> 00:12:15,376 over his shoulder, they just think he's a fucking weirdo. 199 00:12:15,406 --> 00:12:18,378 Walked out of the city and nobody asked him a question. 200 00:12:25,402 --> 00:12:28,332 Do you get me? 201 00:12:28,362 --> 00:12:30,394 What, eat a load of diamonds?No. 202 00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:42,332 Ah, you can't just chuck the tuna in the water. 203 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,328 Sully's not going to want to buy a wet fish. 204 00:12:45,358 --> 00:12:46,362 Oh, my God. 205 00:12:47,378 --> 00:12:48,378 What? 206 00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:51,312 All fish are wet, you tool. 207 00:12:51,342 --> 00:12:52,390 It's their natural habitat. 208 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,314 There's flying fish, like. 209 00:13:00,366 --> 00:13:01,394 All right. 210 00:13:44,362 --> 00:13:46,390 How are we going to get it past the bridge? 211 00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:50,376 You go over to the other side, right? 212 00:13:50,406 --> 00:13:53,360 I'll throw the ring in, and then the current can bring it under 213 00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:56,308 the bridge, and then you just pick it out on the other side? 214 00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:57,386 Yeah, yeah! 215 00:14:57,382 --> 00:15:00,372 The only good thing about that prick Sergeant Healy off getting driving 216 00:15:00,402 --> 00:15:04,368 lessons is that there's one less guard in the city to dodge. 217 00:15:04,398 --> 00:15:06,390 OK, let's go. So, turn on the ignition. 218 00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:10,346 Now put it into first gear. 219 00:15:11,362 --> 00:15:14,332 You see, recently, he's been like a randy Labrador, 220 00:15:14,362 --> 00:15:16,352 sniffing around me mam. 221 00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,322 Brought you some biscuits. 222 00:15:23,358 --> 00:15:24,394 I brought you some coffee. 223 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,284 I was just passing. 224 00:15:31,314 --> 00:15:33,402 Lucky for me, whenever Mam meets a fella she likes... 225 00:15:35,346 --> 00:15:38,320 Release the clutch. Really slowly. 226 00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,300 ..it isn't long before she decides to... 227 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,386 Hit the fucking brake! 228 00:15:51,346 --> 00:15:52,374 And whereabouts are you? 229 00:15:54,382 --> 00:15:56,362 Not far, down by the Port of Cork. 230 00:15:59,346 --> 00:16:02,328 Yeah, I miss you too. We'll hang on here for you. 231 00:16:02,358 --> 00:16:05,390 And bring some sandwiches or something, we're fucking starving. 232 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,352 Who was that? Siobhan. 233 00:16:12,382 --> 00:16:15,296 She's shopping in town, she's going to come and meet us. 234 00:16:15,326 --> 00:16:16,340 Is Linda coming? 235 00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:17,372 Why? 236 00:16:17,402 --> 00:16:18,406 You dodging her? 237 00:16:21,326 --> 00:16:22,356 What? Dodging her? 238 00:16:22,386 --> 00:16:26,284 Yeah, are you fucking dodging her, Frigid McFrigidface? 239 00:16:26,314 --> 00:16:29,308 I'm not frigid, I'm just waiting for the right moment. 240 00:16:29,338 --> 00:16:31,364 And being covered in fish guts is not the right moment. 241 00:16:31,394 --> 00:16:34,284 That sounds like something someone frigid might say. 242 00:16:34,314 --> 00:16:35,338 I'm not fucking frigid! 243 00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:39,352 I'm not! 244 00:16:39,382 --> 00:16:41,344 All right. 245 00:16:41,374 --> 00:16:43,394 Where you going? Stop! I'm not... Jock! 246 00:16:45,326 --> 00:16:49,344 Jock, I'm not frigid, what are you doing? I'm was only saying... 247 00:16:49,374 --> 00:16:50,363 Come here! 248 00:16:50,378 --> 00:16:52,352 Just pull in here, will you? 249 00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:54,356 Slowly!I fucking am going slowly. 250 00:16:54,386 --> 00:16:57,296 Don't shout at me. You're shouting at me. 251 00:16:57,326 --> 00:16:59,318 Tony, brake. Brake, brake! 252 00:17:05,362 --> 00:17:08,304 Do you ever get your blood pressure checked? 253 00:17:08,334 --> 00:17:09,368 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 254 00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:12,360 I'm just saying, as a friend, it might be something to keep an eye on. 255 00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:14,296 "Friend!" 256 00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:16,316 You're not my friend. 257 00:17:16,346 --> 00:17:18,394 All right, well, what is this that we're doing, then? 258 00:17:20,334 --> 00:17:21,338 Fucked if I know. 259 00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:27,348 I think when you meet the right person, 260 00:17:27,378 --> 00:17:29,398 nothing will stop you getting together. 261 00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:34,314 Fuck! 262 00:17:37,378 --> 00:17:39,328 Oh, fuck it. 263 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,406 Fuck! 264 00:17:43,382 --> 00:17:45,308 ENGINE REVS 265 00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:47,336 Just a sec, I need more room. 266 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,314 MOVES HANDBRAKE 267 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,366 Ah! Fuck! 268 00:17:53,382 --> 00:17:55,312 Stop, stop, stop! 269 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,346 What's wrong? 270 00:17:58,318 --> 00:17:59,322 I can't do this. 271 00:18:04,338 --> 00:18:08,288 Jock has this stupid fucking theory that frigidity runs in the family. 272 00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:10,292 Come on, boy, it's easy. 273 00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:12,336 All you've got to do is put your lips up against her lips 274 00:18:12,366 --> 00:18:14,324 and just put your tongue through. 275 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,360 Like a letterbox. 276 00:18:15,390 --> 00:18:17,318 Stop talking about it. 277 00:18:18,366 --> 00:18:20,340 Have you tried practising on your arm? 278 00:18:20,370 --> 00:18:22,344 Fuck. Off. 279 00:18:22,374 --> 00:18:23,386 I'm serious. 280 00:18:29,370 --> 00:18:31,364 My arm? Yeah. 281 00:18:31,394 --> 00:18:33,312 That's what most people do. 282 00:18:33,342 --> 00:18:36,322 Sucking your bicep is like getting someone's tongue in your hole. 283 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,370 Go on, give it a go. 284 00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:50,354 Just around here. 285 00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:53,382 Just go for it. Give it a rub first. 286 00:19:19,382 --> 00:19:20,386 Erm... 287 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:25,368 I just got stung, I was just trying to remove the venom. 288 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:28,352 Looks like you were shifting your own arm. 289 00:19:28,382 --> 00:19:29,386 I wasn't. 290 00:19:34,386 --> 00:19:36,342 Missed you.I missed you too. 291 00:19:46,354 --> 00:19:48,340 Sometimes there's no right moment. 292 00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:50,332 You've just got to throw caution to the wind, 293 00:19:50,362 --> 00:19:52,376 brave up and dive right in. 294 00:19:52,406 --> 00:19:55,348 I'm just covered in fish guts, so... 295 00:19:55,378 --> 00:19:56,382 I don't mind. 296 00:19:58,334 --> 00:20:02,300 What? It just smells like Omega three or something. 297 00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:06,292 Like what? Do you know, Omega three, the...? Oh, the golden thing? 298 00:20:06,322 --> 00:20:08,312 Yeah, the stuff they give you when you're small... 299 00:20:08,342 --> 00:20:10,348 Yeah, Mam used to give me them all the time before school, 300 00:20:10,378 --> 00:20:13,296 she said, "It'll make you really clever," and stuff. Yeah! 301 00:20:13,326 --> 00:20:15,378 There's bluefin tuna at the end of that rope? Yeah. 302 00:20:16,402 --> 00:20:19,344 How much is it worth, anyway? 303 00:20:19,374 --> 00:20:21,320 50,000. 304 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:22,394 50,000? Yeah. 305 00:20:24,370 --> 00:20:26,346 But we're only selling it for five. 306 00:20:27,398 --> 00:20:30,284 I think I got ripped off, actually. 307 00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:33,324 What do you can do as well, it is, like, take a load of them and... 308 00:20:33,354 --> 00:20:38,324 Kind of... you cover your arse and your farts stink of fish. 309 00:20:38,354 --> 00:20:41,292 Stop, that's manky! It does, it does! 310 00:20:41,322 --> 00:20:45,324 You mean, you fart in class and the whole place smells like fish? 311 00:20:45,354 --> 00:20:47,296 Make your farts smell like fish! 312 00:20:47,326 --> 00:20:49,336 Like, I've got to give most of the money to Con's mam, 313 00:20:49,366 --> 00:20:52,360 but I could take you out for dinner or something after we get the money. 314 00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:56,280 Especially the teacher, because the teacher hears, like, a fart, 315 00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:58,296 and she's like, "It's going to stink of shit." 316 00:20:58,326 --> 00:21:01,376 And then all of a sudden, this waft of just pollock comes your way. 317 00:21:01,406 --> 00:21:04,364 Do you have a sandwich, actually? Yeah, hold on. 318 00:21:04,394 --> 00:21:05,398 Tuna sandwich. 319 00:21:09,386 --> 00:21:10,390 It's tuna. 320 00:21:12,378 --> 00:21:13,406 Fuck did you get tuna for? 321 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:17,330 You all right? 322 00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:22,314 Do you want some? It's... 323 00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:23,358 Fuck, no. 324 00:21:24,358 --> 00:21:25,358 Thanks... 325 00:21:25,386 --> 00:21:27,304 .. but no. 326 00:21:27,334 --> 00:21:28,327 Oh, erm... 327 00:21:28,342 --> 00:21:31,356 No, it's just I've got fish, you know, all over my hands and... 328 00:21:31,386 --> 00:21:34,328 Since when has shit on your hands ever been a problem to you? 329 00:21:34,358 --> 00:21:36,406 Usually you have Jock's shit all over your hands. 330 00:21:39,354 --> 00:21:40,354 What? 331 00:21:40,370 --> 00:21:43,318 You've got some big mouth, do you know that? Oops! 332 00:21:47,310 --> 00:21:48,394 It was your shit in the hand-dryer? 333 00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:52,382 I'm... I'm sorry, boy. 334 00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:56,328 I didn't do it on purpose. 335 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:57,360 You never wash your hands! 336 00:21:57,390 --> 00:22:01,288 It wasn't my fault you went all hygienic that day. 337 00:22:01,318 --> 00:22:02,352 Bollocks! 338 00:22:02,382 --> 00:22:03,386 Fuck! 339 00:22:09,326 --> 00:22:11,352 Quit messing around, Jock, get the fucking thing! 340 00:22:11,382 --> 00:22:13,304 You do it, I'm still learning. 341 00:22:13,334 --> 00:22:15,328 I'm not going in there, it smells. Jock! 342 00:22:15,358 --> 00:22:17,338 Jock, come on! All right! 343 00:22:30,322 --> 00:22:32,334 Watch out for the toilet paper! 344 00:22:33,398 --> 00:22:36,386 It's not toilet paper, it's a fucking condom. 345 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:52,358 Thanks for all the fucking help, boy! 346 00:22:56,322 --> 00:22:58,372 "Jump in the water, Jock, you'll the fucking fine, Jock." 347 00:22:58,402 --> 00:23:02,316 Oh, yeah, yeah, I can't even fucking swim... I'm fucking freezing! 348 00:23:02,346 --> 00:23:04,324 Come on, we've got to get the tuna to Sully. 349 00:23:04,354 --> 00:23:06,288 I've never seen a fish that size before. 350 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,288 Give us a look at it before you go. No, we're late. 351 00:23:08,318 --> 00:23:09,344 We were meant to be their ages ago. 352 00:23:09,374 --> 00:23:12,322 You know what happens when you say no to me. 353 00:23:14,382 --> 00:23:15,386 Fuck's sake. 354 00:23:41,354 --> 00:23:42,398 I don't feel too good. 355 00:23:45,310 --> 00:23:46,314 Me neither. 356 00:23:51,318 --> 00:23:53,312 Do you think Sully will still buy it off from us? 357 00:23:53,342 --> 00:23:56,402 I mean, like, the tale of a bluefin tuna's got to be worth something? 358 00:23:57,406 --> 00:23:59,398 That's a yellowfin tuna. 359 00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:04,300 No, it's not, it's a bluefin tuna, 360 00:24:04,330 --> 00:24:06,284 the yellowfin tuna aren't worth much. 361 00:24:06,314 --> 00:24:09,318 If it's a bluefin tuna, why has it got yellow fins, so? 362 00:24:22,338 --> 00:24:24,314 At least you didn't lose a 50k fish. 363 00:24:26,326 --> 00:24:27,330 Shit! 364 00:24:36,358 --> 00:24:39,284 I think if you steal something from someone for someone else 365 00:24:39,314 --> 00:24:41,316 but then you lose the something you stole before you give 366 00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:43,360 it to the someone else, morally, it all kind of levels out. 367 00:24:43,390 --> 00:24:45,330 Know what I mean? 368 00:24:49,338 --> 00:24:50,374 You going to clean that up? 369 00:25:10,314 --> 00:25:11,386 Are you here to arrest the duck? 370 00:25:13,382 --> 00:25:16,300 Your mam asked me to stick around. 371 00:25:16,330 --> 00:25:17,350 You shifting her? 372 00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:20,352 We're just friends, OK? 373 00:25:20,382 --> 00:25:22,324 She wouldn't shift him! 374 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,366 Shifting guards is like shifting cousins. 375 00:25:27,406 --> 00:25:32,320 Here, let me show you this funny video I got at work, right? 376 00:25:32,350 --> 00:25:34,316 These two have got to be the biggest morons 377 00:25:34,346 --> 00:25:35,378 I've seen in my entire life. 378 00:26:06,358 --> 00:26:09,304 Do you actually go out of your way to upset your mother? 379 00:26:09,334 --> 00:26:11,376 Quit talking to us like you're our da. 380 00:26:11,406 --> 00:26:13,360 You're not, you know. I'm not trying to be, 381 00:26:13,390 --> 00:26:16,332 I'm just trying to stop your mother getting hurt and I'm a guard 382 00:26:16,362 --> 00:26:19,360 who's trying really hard not to arrest you, you dumb little prick. 383 00:26:19,390 --> 00:26:24,284 You could be looking at six months in a juvenile detention centre. 384 00:26:24,314 --> 00:26:26,288 If you let us off this, you could be our da. 385 00:26:26,318 --> 00:26:28,314 I don't want to be your fucking da. 386 00:26:31,362 --> 00:26:33,296 Where is she? 387 00:26:33,326 --> 00:26:35,340 She's down arranging payment for that fish you stole 388 00:26:35,370 --> 00:26:37,356 so they don't press charges. 389 00:26:37,386 --> 00:26:40,300 It's going to take her all year to pay it off. 390 00:26:40,330 --> 00:26:41,376 It's tough enough providing for two kids 391 00:26:41,406 --> 00:26:43,374 without having more debt to deal with. 392 00:27:00,358 --> 00:27:03,362 We were going to sell it and give you the money to pay the bills. 393 00:27:08,398 --> 00:27:10,314 I'll leave you to it. 394 00:27:12,406 --> 00:27:14,310 One sec. 395 00:27:15,326 --> 00:27:17,386 Sometimes you've just got to do what's right for you. 396 00:27:20,370 --> 00:27:23,374 Even if other people find it fucking disgusting. 397 00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:34,288 Ah, yeah. 398 00:27:34,318 --> 00:27:36,336 So, I'll... I'll see you tomorrow? 399 00:27:36,366 --> 00:27:38,358 I guess, I suppose. And... 400 00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:41,320 I'll see you, lads! 401 00:27:41,350 --> 00:27:42,354 Erm... 402 00:27:47,326 --> 00:27:49,350 Couldn't even steal the right fucking fish. 403 00:27:58,406 --> 00:28:02,296 The teacher who sent us off to do unpaid work experience said, 404 00:28:02,326 --> 00:28:04,340 "Work is not all about the money." 405 00:28:04,370 --> 00:28:07,320 I hate to admit it, because he's a prick, 406 00:28:07,350 --> 00:28:09,336 but I think there's a bit of truth in that. 407 00:28:09,366 --> 00:28:11,340 Can I do something? Yeah, erm... 408 00:28:11,370 --> 00:28:14,360 Bag up those mussels for that girl over there. Sure. 409 00:28:14,390 --> 00:28:18,336 You see, in the criminal world, there's a lack of community spirit. 410 00:28:18,366 --> 00:28:22,284 There's just something nice about helping people with the simple shit. 411 00:28:22,314 --> 00:28:24,300 Like picking out their dinner. 412 00:28:24,330 --> 00:28:26,332 OK, I've got that for you. 413 00:28:26,362 --> 00:28:27,386 Thanks a million. Cheers. 414 00:28:29,326 --> 00:28:30,315 All the usual for you? 415 00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:31,376 Or having the craic was some old fucker 416 00:28:31,406 --> 00:28:34,292 you wouldn't normally batter your hole with. 417 00:28:34,322 --> 00:28:36,292 How's the missus? She's OK, she's alive. 418 00:28:36,322 --> 00:28:37,376 Same fucking joke everyday, Tommy. 419 00:28:37,406 --> 00:28:39,402 Makes you smile everyday too, though. 420 00:28:41,342 --> 00:28:43,340 You get the chance to learn new skills. 421 00:28:43,370 --> 00:28:45,324 Something that won't get you arrested. 422 00:28:45,354 --> 00:28:46,370 I got it! Got it? 423 00:28:47,394 --> 00:28:49,304 There you go! 424 00:28:49,334 --> 00:28:51,334 Look at him, he's professional. 425 00:28:52,354 --> 00:28:54,376 If you get good at something, I think you start to enjoy it, 426 00:28:54,406 --> 00:28:56,352 even it is to do with fish. 427 00:28:56,382 --> 00:28:59,376 Do you know your mother's the best fishmonger in the country? 428 00:28:59,406 --> 00:29:01,386 Oh, really? Ask anyone. 429 00:29:10,322 --> 00:29:12,316 That's for yourself. 430 00:29:12,346 --> 00:29:14,360 So, that's a little thank you. 431 00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:15,390 See you, guys. 432 00:29:15,406 --> 00:29:17,358 Thanks, Pat. Thanks. 433 00:29:20,326 --> 00:29:22,398 And, yeah, people go to work so they can get paid. 434 00:29:27,386 --> 00:29:30,288 But I think sometimes the real value of money 435 00:29:30,318 --> 00:29:31,382 is not what you can buy with it... 436 00:29:33,362 --> 00:29:36,378 ..it's knowing how hard someone worked to earn it. 437 00:29:44,366 --> 00:29:46,318 Fuck! 438 00:29:48,338 --> 00:29:49,358 Wax? 439 00:29:58,354 --> 00:29:59,358 Ugh! 440 00:30:00,374 --> 00:30:01,378 Fucker!